Melissa Aldridge on Daybreak as a Starting Place

I have Melissa Aldridge here with me today and she is a past client of Daybreak and so I always like to start with the moment of instability.
What was that moment that brought you to Daybreak?

Well, I grew up in Dayton, OH, and that’s an area that sometimes has a lot of reputations or people don’t even know where it is when I talk to them.
But one of the things that tends to come up is that there’s definitely some challenges with the intersection of 70 and 75 and the addiction that kind of plagues a lot of that part of the country.

My parents were definitely individuals that had some challenges associated with that. And so, the instability was just generally kind of pervasive for me throughout my upbringing.

This was just one of those moments when they found it to be a bit too much for me to be at home. They had been familiar with Daybreak and basically just told me to go there. “You can’t stay here but you need to go somewhere else.”

I was sort of kicked out, which I think is probably not an uncommon scenario.
But [I was] not necessarily in a situation where I had somewhere else to go.
I think that the moment of instability was a peak moment of instability for me. And despite being a straight A student and having a lot of potential, my circumstances just didn’t really offer the kind of conditions that allowed me to have some place to go.

So, then you got to Daybreak. I think you mentioned when we talked previously that you stayed for a week. Could you tell us about that week and what services helped you during your time with Daybreak?

Yeah. So, I stayed at the location on Wayne Ave. because this was quite a long time ago before you had the big building.

At first it was just a lot of—I didn’t know what to expect. Honestly, I think arriving there, I instantly believed that this was something that someone experienced because they were in trouble.
And I felt like I was in trouble at first. Then once I got there, it really became this moment of a place to breathe, a place to take a break.
The services I experienced mostly were just care.
I think when you’re in an environment where your parents aren’t always able to give you the kind of care that you need, you can forget that you’re a child.

First and foremost, the thing I experienced was a brief moment of what it would be like to be a child.
Again, during my time when I was staying there and the other care I received was stability every day, having a schedule and knowing what was going on and realizing how comforting that could be to know what was going to happen next.

I think those are pretty simple things, right?
But I think they meant a lot to me at the time. And then of course, there was the caregiving.
And the help professionals from the group, therapy or otherwise.
But I think the other service I got that probably isn’t necessarily a service is being in this environment.
You’re with other people.
It wasn’t like I was in some sort of jail or something, you know? I was with other kids.

And I was going to group therapy with them and realizing that lots of people were experiencing different reasons for being there and really having the opportunity to reflect on how I arrived there and getting in touch a bit with [the idea] that it wasn’t me that was the problem that caused me to end up being there.
When you’re in these situations, you can sometimes think that if I had just done something more, I had been better. Maybe I wouldn’t be in this circumstance and my parents would be better. My situation would be better.

And I think being there helped me realize that.
There were a lot of reasons that folks end up there.

Yeah, I think that’s huge.
And having that realization, it’s kind of like that before and after framework of viewing it.

Yes, definitely a sliding glass door moment in some ways.

Give us a picture of your life today. We know where you’ve been, but what are you up to these days and what does that look like for you?

Being in Daybreak was a big deal for me because it was this time where I got a chance to breathe and realized that it was okay to ask for help and there were people that were around that could be helpful.

Up until that point, not really anyone outside of my family knew the sort of instability that I was having because I think when you’re in that circumstance, you learn to hide that from the rest of the world.
I didn’t reach out and say, hey, I’m struggling with my home life. What I did is just perform better everywhere else in school and in other places and so.

Once they brought my parents after the end of that one week, I ended up asking to stay another week because it was such a relief to just be somewhere else.

The structure was there where I was getting this moment of care, where we were having dinner as a group every night.
We watched “Selena” every day because we only had one movie.
But it was a nice opportunity to see my life in a different way. I think it was quite catalytic in asking for help thereafter from lots of mentors and taking seriously the help that I was getting already.
My life today is reflective of being accepting of the fact that I was this person who did need a lot to help to get where I am and had lots of privilege too. But that person and the person I am today can coexist is important. In my life today, people see me as my job.

I work in finance. I worked in entrepreneurial finance quite a bit in Dayton, OH, before moving to Chattanooga, TN.
I’m a mom.
And I love that.
I’ve just recently changed jobs. I’m pursuing my own theory of change and how I can have an impact in the world with my career at the Center for Open Science.

My life today is continual healing.
I think anyone who’s going through any journey is continuous.

Also, it’s getting in touch with the duality of [the fact that] I was a person who needed these sorts of help at a time and today I don’t.

I’m realizing that a lot of people maybe think things about me when they first meet me that don’t lead them to believe I had the sort of start that I did.

And I’m realizing that it might be important for me to raise my voice and say, “Not everyone who shows up every day and has important leadership roles in organizations or is showing up in their jobs or their lives in consistently responsible ways, started out the exact same way.”

I think there’s always this assumption about me that I probably started out with a consistency and responsibility that I try to embody today and that wasn’t necessarily the case.

It’s important for me to share my story a little bit and let people know that it’s okay to accept who you were before and who you are now as part of one journey.

Yeah, definitely! I love that and I think that that is really important because people do judge on appearances or where you currently are, but you never know until you ask.
We appreciate people like you raising your voices and sharing your story. It lets the rest of us realize we are all just humans doing our human stuff. And all of us are imperfect in different ways.

So, tell us what you would want people to know about Daybreak.

The main thing I want people to know about Daybreak is that while it offers lots and lots of services—I’ve stayed consistently connected to the organization over time, it’s always the place that I make sure that this or that charitable giving can go to and I’ve made intention in my life to have a recurring gift to the organization. I’ve had the opportunity to kind of stay in touch with how the organization’s grown and its services over time.

But the thing I would want them to know about the organization is it’s not just a place to stay. For people probably. Maybe for some folks, the first opportunity for them to get care outside of their home or care outside of their core group of people who are meant to care for them.
And maybe the first time that they see that they’re worthy of care, like in my case.
And the first time that they realized that mentorship can take on lots and lots of forms and start to ask for that in their lives.

Those are the things I’d want people to know about the organization, that it might be the person’s first opportunity to experience mental health services and then seek those out for the rest of their lives.
As they continue some type of healing journey and realize that that’s totally normal to need and to want and to get.
Some people don’t end up there.
Lots of people end up there for different reasons, but it can be a starting place, not necessarily an ending place or an alternate place.

It can be, just maybe the start of a different journey.

That’s a really great way to describe it as a starting place, and that’s definitely what we try to do in a lot of the services that we offer.

The main thing is I worked really hard to build the life that I have now and I wouldn’t be where I am if people hadn’t believed in me starting at Daybreak and with many, many mentors thereafter, and many other amazing organizations and services that I received throughout my time living in Dayton and growing up there and having my early career there.

I hope that by participating in this campaign Daybreak is running and sharing my voice and my face, folks can see that there’s a bigger picture to what Daybreak’s offering both now in the community, and then also for many years to come given that I stayed there 25 years ago.

Yeah, yeah, definitely! I think it is really important not just for the community, but also for the youth that are here now to see people like you, who have been through the services and see that’s something my life could become. Thank you so much for your time!

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